Welcome, to my cOZy OZarks.

Season's Eatings! Beef Stroganoff.

2010-11-28T08:43:00.000-08:00

Craving something warm and savory? How about classic Beef Stroganoff? Big, buttery, parslied (my own word there) egg noodles w/a rich and savory, creamy sauce studded with huge, chunky slices of unbelievably tender beef and roasted mushrooms; positively soul-satisfying on a cold and bitter night. AND and and and... please DO NOT forget the - and this is essential - SOURDOUGH French bread (slathered with good butter) alongside. Some magical alchemy occurs with the tanginess of the sourdough and the beefy sour cream sauce. Plus that sourdough is how you're going to get every last smear of that delicious sauce out of your bowl without sacrificing your dignity by resorting to swiping with fingers or outright licking the bowl. I've done all three and the sourdough is the way to go. Make this dish this winter season and share!

I'll post my pics as soon as I can - pretty busy lately - but I wanted to show my love and send out this recipe while its the PERFECT season for it. Meantime, enjoy the far superior photo above to get you in the mood!

Beef Stroganoff
2 lbs. beef chuck roast
1 teaspoon beef bouillon granules
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
4 ounces butter
4 green onions, sliced
4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
4 cups low-sodium beef broth
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
½ teaspoon dried chives
¼ teaspoon dried tarragon
¼ teaspoon dried thyme
8 ounces button mushrooms, sliced
1 cup chopped white onions, optional
butter, for sauteeing
4 fluid ounces sour cream, more (or less) to taste
¾ cup white wine
2 tablespoons dry sherry, optional
salt, to taste
freshly ground black pepper, lots, to taste
cooked egg noodles, tossed w/butter (depending on our mood - we sometimes get the Amish noodles - more rustic and really suits this dish, but the common lighter and wider noodles - pic above - are wonderful)
fresh parsley, chopped

Remove most of the fat and gristle from the roast (takes a little bit but worth it) and cut AGAINST THE GRAIN!!! into thin strips 1/8 inch thick by 2-3 inches long. Sprinkle with the Worcestershire. Season with bouillon granules and black pepper, toss to coat. Set aside.
Heat a very large skillet over high heat, melt and lightly brown the butter, add beef and brown the beef strips quickly (get all seasoning and juices into pan), then push the beef strips off to one side. Tilt the pan to allow juices to run to empty side then add the green onions to the juice and cook slowly for 3 to 5 minutes.
Whisk the flour into the juices of the pan; whisk and get most lumps out as you slowly pour in beef broth and bring to a boil, stirring constantly, whisking to remove lumps. Lower the heat and stir in mustard, beef granules, and herbs. Add some pepper and salt. Cover partially and simmer for 2 hours or until the meat is tender, stirring occasionally.
(Optional - about 45 minutes before serving, caramelize the chopped onions over slow heat) About 20 minutes before serving, in a small NOT NONSTICK skillet, pan roast mushrooms over very high heat in 2 T butter (almost dry pan). Get them really good and caramelized by not crowding the pan.
Five minutes before serving, stir in the mushrooms, (caramelized onions if using), sour cream, and white wine. Heat briefly then salt and pepper to taste. If you like black pepper, give a fresh sprinkling on each dish - it really gives it that smoky flavor to set off the rich cream. Garnish w/coarsely chopped parsley, and serve atop the buttered and parslied egg noodles and the buttered sourdough. BUTTER!

Sounds Good to Me. A teaser!

2010-06-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

Confession!

These aren't my photos but I promise they're temporary until I photog my own recipes and replace these stand-ins posthaste!!! Hey. I don't always stand around with a

wooden spoon in one hand and a Nikon in the other, k?

A couple things.

Requests for recipes from friends and family inevitably pop up for my version of "Springfield-style" Cashew Chicken, or Cashew Kitty, as we jokingly but frequently refer to it. I dunno. Some macabre local teenage myth of ethnic restaurants using unusual but convenient meats. Let's not think about that.

You guys are gonna LOVE this breading on the chicken! Its replaced our family chicken strip recipe for the last 14 years. And thank you, Mr. Leong, for the ingenious hybridization of southern and Asian cuisine - crispy fried chicken nuggets and a Chinese "gravy" we Ozarkers could identify with. For us, Mr. Leong, you are to Asian cuisine what Julia was to French. Start small, start simple. Now, some 50 years later, sushi, Cantonese, Thai, etc - all Springfield favorites. Awesome.

Okay! Our version is on the menu of posts of family favorites I'll try to get to soonly.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Want a GREAT recipe and all the tricks for the world's yummiest Shrimp Po' Boy? Or Shrimp n' Oyster Po' Boy, however ya like it. Fully dressed of course... (psssst. capers make the remoulade, which is what I use as my po' boy sauce. top secret, that.) I've literally seen this sandwich knock the breath out of people. No joke. I don't what it is that makes po' boys so addictive...

How about a simple and light recipe for Creamy Carrot Soup, from the old Tea Room in Mountain Home (a favorite spot for dress-up destinations when I was a little girl)? So delicious and summery and PERFECT with crunchy bread and butter and a very light salad of baby greens and white wine vinaigrette. I believe it was Ms. Pat Graves that graced us with that recipe.

How about a great Hummus recipe? Served with briny kalamata olives, cubed feta, and perfectly toasted pita triangles. We make a meal of that often in the hotter months of our summertime. Glass of slightly sweet and oak-y Chardonnay to offset the vinegar-y tang of the olives and feta and the slight heat of the garlic and cayenne in the hummus. Ummmmm. Refreshing! And food SHOULD be in the summer, don't you agree?

I'll even sneek the recipe to you for my husband's family's Oatmeal Lace Cookies. Light and crispy and not too sweet. Sooooo divine with vanilla bean ice cream (homemade if you're one of the lucky ones!).

Let me think on it a bit, guys. I'll get some really great summer EATS! up soon soon soon! Its going to be stroganoff and chili days before we know it.

LET"S ENJOY OUR GORGEOUS SUMMER!

Turkey & Brie. A highly complemented sandwich.

2010-04-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

I love sandwiches. A girlfriend of mine always teased that whenever I was asked what sounded good for lunch, I'd reply, "Oh, I don't know. Some good bread, cheese, maybe some meat." To which she'd respond, "So. You mean a sandwich."

"Uh. Yeah! Sure. A sandwich."

They're my "go-to" of the food world. And it always amazes me that just a little extra effort on a sandwich is, like, SQUARED in the taste bud-reward-department. Which is a really great department. You spend half of the time of regular meal preparation and yet you end up with a delicious and satisfying repast. Who would argue with that?

I just found this beauty on, I think it was, Cooking Light's site. REALLY good sandwich. And GET watercress to make this, no substitutes. It COMPLETES this.

The flavors are so complementary and mild. I would be tempted to add some slivered white onion, but I think you'd lose the pepperiness of the watercress. And for all you southern Missourians - we get watercress at the Cabool farmers' market. Grown LOCALLY in our beautiful fresh springs!

NEAT-O!!!

Another watercress favorite is an incredible creamy potato, onion, and watercress soup!

Turkey, Brie, Green Apple & Watercress on Baguette

2 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons coarse mustard
1 (8-ounce) French bread baguette
6 ounces thinly sliced smoked turkey breast
1/4 pound Brie cheese, thinly sliced - I probably used more. Okay. I used more.
1 cup trimmed watercress
1 cup thinly sliced peeled Granny Smith apple
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preparation

Preheat oven to 475°.

Combine honey and mustard in a small bowl. Cut bread in half lengthwise; place on a baking sheet and toast in oven 3-4 minutes, turn and toast just a bit longer (you want chewy, not tough). Spread honey mixture on bottom half of loaf; top with turkey and cheese. Bake until cheese begins to melt.

Arrange watercress and apple slices onto melted cheese; sprinkle with pepper. Cover with top half of loaf, and cut into 4 portions.

Fresh Salsa

2010-04-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

NOT ONE of these photos have been retouched, lightened, or altered. Maybe they should have been, but I wanted to prove a point. They're straight camera shots. THIS salsa is THAT good. Suck it up, get a food processor (so much better texture than the blender but those'll work in a pinch) and make a batch of perfect classic SALSA!!!

FRESH SALSA

2 cans whole tomatoes

1 cup very coarsely chopped onion

1 medium jalapeno, seeded and chopped

1 medium red chile, seeded and chopped (or just another jalapeno or omit entirely for wussy purposes)

2 medium chipotle pepper (seeded if you're a superwus), add a little adobo sauce if you like it smokier and spicier

3 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled

big pinch sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 juice of whole lime

¼ cup fresh cilantro leaves, more or less to taste

Into a food processor, add one can of tomatoes into the bowl. Add the onion, peppers, garlic, sugar, salt, and lime juice. Process till smooooth. Or as you like... It'll get hit again in a sec.

Reserve the juice from remaining can of tomatoes, add remaining and PULSE until desired consistency, using juice only if necessary. (Salsa will create own juice).

Abuse this, without guilt!, on quesadillas, soft tacos and fajitas, add some with a little cumin when you cook rice as a great Tex-Mex side, drizzle on cheddar omelets,

or just wolf some down on

good tortilla chips!

We usually keep this or the fixins' on hand for emergencies.

I was innocently searching for "chile pepper" and he popped up.

It was too disturbing to me to just leave well enough alone.

Creme Brulee.

2010-04-20T16:27:00.000-07:00

This is not, "Cooking Light".

The following post, good recipe, bad photos, is strictly for fellow hedonists. And its brief. Because I've been really, ruhhhheeeeally busy.

Necessary equipment you might not have:

good instant-read digital thermometer
(4) 4-5 oz creme brulee dishes or souffle ramekins (the former are more shallow with larger diameter - I can't find mine. they're somewhere. damnit.)
and a tea kettle makes pouring the water a lot less, um, dangerous. for you and the custard...

the rest of the equipment most people have, but again, in a hurry, so read through if you need to!

La Creme Brulee

serves 4

2 cups heavy cream, chilled

⅓ cup granulated sugar

pinch salt

½ large vanilla bean, halved lengthwise (really gotta get a real bean, this is serious stuff)

6 lg egg yolks (again, go cage free, organic, clean-hippy, "granola" eggs - you'll thank me)

2 tablespoons turbinado (often called "raw") sugar, or Demerara sugar

Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 300 degrees.

Combine 1 cup cream, sugar, and salt in medium saucepan; with paring knife, scrape seeds from vanilla bean into pan, submerge pod in cream, and bring mixture to boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally to ensure that sugar dissolves. Take pan off heat and let steep 15 minutes to infuse flavors.

Meanwhile, place kitchen towel in bottom of large baking dish or roasting pan and arrange four 4- to 5- ounce shallow fluted (creme brulee) dishes or ramekins on towel. Bring kettle or large saucepan of water to boil over high heat.

After cream has steeped, stir in remaining 1 cup cream to cool down mixture. Whisk yolks in large bowl until broken up and combined. Whisk about 1/2 cup cream mixture into yolks until loosened and combined; repeat with another 1/2 cup cream. Add remaining cream and whisk until evenly colored and thoroughly combined. Strain through fine-mesh strainer into 2-quart measuring cup or pitcher (or clean medium bowl); discard solids in strainer. Pour or ladle mixture into ramekins, dividing it evenly among them.

Carefully place baking dish with ramekins on oven rack; pour boiling water into dish, taking care not to splash water into ramekins, until water reaches two-thirds height of ramekins. Bake until centers of custards are just barely set and are no longer sloshy and digital instant-read thermometer inserted in centers registers 170 to 175 degrees. This can be anywhere from 15 to 35 minutes, depending on the depth of the ramekins and your oven. Start checking at 15 minutes. Usually 25 minutes for creme brulee dishes and 30 minutes for traditional ramekins. NOTE: mine took almost 40 minutes this time. Your digital thermometer is your FRIEND. You want the coolest ramekin at JUST 170.

Transfer ramekins to wire rack; cool to room temperature, about 2 hours. Set ramekins on rimmed baking sheet, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until cold, at least 4 hours or up to 4 days.

Uncover ramekins; if condensation has collected on custards, place paper towel on surface to soak up moisture. Sprinkle each with about 1 - 2 teaspoons turbinado sugar; tilt and tap ramekin for even coverage. Ignite torch and caramelize sugar. Refrigerate ramekins, uncovered to re-chill, 30 to 45 minutes but NOOOO longer; serve.

note the sugar is like glass and can be lifted from the firm, cool custard beneath...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Am I the only one that thinks this dessert is downright sexy?

Am I normal?

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T11:26:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter, Peeps.

Easter pics later!!!

French Dip Sandwiches and Au Jus

2010-02-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

I have a strong suspicion this is what slow cookers were invented for. I have an even stronger suspicion this is what cows were invented for.

As usze - feel free to tweak and twist to your tastes - more or less herbs, more or less garlic, less beer, more soy (read: saltier), no broth (read: stronger jus), etc.

Just don't skimp on the beef sear - makes a big difference in flavor and texture.

French Dip Sandwiches w/Au Jus

4 lbs beef chuck roast, or rump if you like leaner and chewier

about 1 T coarse salt, about a couple t pepper - to taste

2 medium onions, sliced thick

2 bottle beer (I like ales if you want a stronger jus)

½ cup soy sauce

2 teaspoon beef bouillon granules

2 large bay leaf

4 black peppercorns

2 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 tablespoon minced garlic (about 4 cloves)

1 cup beef broth, start with 1 add more if you want weaker jus

6 large French hoagie rolls, or slider buns

12 slices Provolone cheese, or Swiss

butter!

Add 3 T butter to skillet, immediately add onions, lightly brown onions (don't allow to burn) well. Pour over beef.

Remove pan from heat and add beer. Deglaze pan with beer over medium high heat. Add remaining ingredients, besides beef broth. Pour mixture (omitting broth) over beef and onions.

Cook over low 10-11 hours. No skimping! Add broth if desired or necessary. Shred beef in crock, allowing jus to moisten shredded beef.

Split rolls lengthwise, scrape out a bit,

then spread lightly with butter and toast in oven.

Strain jus

Add beef

yum

and cheese

and broil.

There's the beef.

Close sandwiches and butter tops and bottoms a bit, broil, flipping halfway,

you want them toasty and crunchy. For the dipping. Coming soon.

See the magical transformation of the boring bread we started with and the tasty outcome we have lying just beside it? MMMmmmmmmagic.

and serve with strained au jus alongside for dipping...

Hello. I feel like I've always know you were out there. Waiting for me.

And now for the namesake action shots, "The Dip":

and

For printing:

French Dip Sandwiches w/Au Jus

4 lbs beef chuck roast, or rump if you like leaner and chewier

about 1 T coarse salt, about a couple t pepper - to taste

2 medium onions, sliced thick

2 bottle beer (I like ales if you want a stronger jus)

½ cup soy sauce

2 teaspoon beef bouillon granules

2 large bay leaf

4 black peppercorns

2 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 tablespoon minced garlic (about 4 cloves)

1 cup beef broth, start with 1 add more if you want weaker jus

6 large French hoagie rolls, or slider buns

12 slices Provolone cheese, or Swiss

butter!

Trim (especially if you use chuck - there's plenty o' fat to go around), sprinkle and press kosher salt and black pepper into all sides of beef. Heat skillet till hot, add 1 T oil (should shimmer immediately), add beef and sear on all sides. I find if you place it in the pan, then move the meat a little with tongs a couple times, then let sear, it doesn't stick at all. Repeat on all sides. Remove pan from heat entirely, and place beef in bottom of slow cooker. Add 3 T butter to skillet, immediately add onions, lightly brown onions (don't allow to burn) well. Pour over beef.

Remove pan from heat and add beer. Deglaze pan with beer over medium high heat. Add remaining ingredients, besides beef broth. Pour mixture (omitting broth) over beef and onions.

Cook over low 10-11 hours. No skimping. Add broth if desired or necessary. Shred beef in crock, allowing jus to moisten shredded beef.

Split rolls lengthwise, scrape out a bit, then spread lightly with butter and toast in oven. Add beef and cheese and broil. Close sandwiches and butter tops and bottoms a bit, broil, flipping halfway, and serve with strained au jus alongside for dipping.

When it comes to my food: the messier the better.

EATS! Belgian Waffles for Christmas Brunch...

2009-12-25T16:58:00.000-08:00

Belgian Waffles

1 package active dry yeast, (.25 ounce)

¼ cup warm milk (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)

3 egg yolks

2 ¾ cups warm milk (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)

¾ cup butter, melted and cooled to

½ cup white sugar

1 ½ teaspoons salt

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 cups all-purpose flour

3 egg whites

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast in 1/4 cup warm milk. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.

In a large bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, 1/4 cup of the warm milk and the melted butter. Stir in the yeast mixture, sugar, salt and vanilla. Stir in the remaining 2 1/2 cups milk alternately with the flour, ending with the flour. Beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks; fold into the batter. Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap. Let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.

Preheat the waffle iron. Brush with oil and spoon about 1/2 cup (or as recommended by manufacturer) onto center of iron. Close the lid and bake until it stops steaming and the waffle is golden brown. Serve immediately or keep warm in 200 degree oven.

After the hour in a warm spot you get somethin' looking like this...

And it smells like heaven and is light as air...

If it tells you anything, this bowl was less than half full when the hour began...

That's the original recipe up above, but I find in my Belgian waffle maker (deeper than a regular waffle iron), I use a full cup of batter at least...

and...

Tah DAHHHHHH!

Usually we have our ducks in a row and have some fresh whipped cream and strawberries and a sprinkling of powdered sugar. But trust me when I say, these'll do. These'll do.

Just do NOT forget the Vermont maple syrup. REAL. and good butter. REAL.

Yay for waffles!

A Snowy Christmas Morn.

2009-12-25T10:39:00.001-08:00

The many faces of Christmas morning:

intent focus

slight impatience

mild confusion

moderate confusion

mild frustration

intense frustration

and finally...

simple satisfaction

a h h .

Happy Holidays with love from our family to yours.

Fa La La la La...

2009-12-18T17:02:00.000-08:00

So here's a little sneak peek...

Not winning any races for first tree up, but this big mother has taken some creativity on how to fill it up (our traditional tree is going downstairs with all of our family ornaments and the little train around the base).

Is "mother" acceptable when describing a Christmas tree?

Ah, well. Tis the season.

Will get some photos up when this big mother is done!

Merry Christmas all! Happy Holidays! YAY!

EATS! Shrimp Bisque. Oooo la la.

2009-12-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

First snowfall this is what we make. My shrimp bisque. Please ignore the fat, ignore the alcohol (but you could just use a little more shrimp stock), and try this decadent soup.

Rich, warm, filling, and possibly a little intoxicating as I now read down the ingredient list.

Hee.

The canned soups, which I usually avoid, do give it more stability. Which is a good thing around this three ring circus. No worries on this breaking in the fridge after - it reheats beautifully!

Sourdough bread bowls courtesy of Panera, got to mention that. Hey. I'm not a masochist. the bisque is work enough. Just pinch out some bread to hollow slightly before toasting lightly in the oven. This soup makes people really happy. Promise.

Michelle's Shrimp Bisque

2 bags shrimp/crab boil

4 pounds deveined shrimp (can use peeled)

1 ½ tablespoons salt

1 medium onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 medium carrots, chopped

1 stick butter

2 cups white wine

½ cup brandy

2 cans cream of celery soup

1 can cream of mushroom soup

2 pints heavy cream

3 tablespoons tomato paste, more as needed

1 tablespoon dried chives

2 large bay leaves, whole

1 tablespoon dried parsley

ground white pepper, to taste

⅛ teaspoon cayenne pepper

½ teaspoon paprika

Boil 4 qts water with 2 bags crab boil, turn heat off. Add shrimp and let sit, subtracting a minute or two of cooking time. RESERVING 3-4 CUPS OF LIQUID, drain shrimp. Cool shrimp completely.

Meanwhile, melt butter in large, heavy-bottomed stockpot and saute onions and carrots over low until soft and translucent, about 10 minutes or more. Add garlic until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Add wine and brandy. Boil 2 or more minutes, until alcohol is evaporated. RESERVING CREAM, add remaining ingredients, whisking until well combined. Remove from heat, Whisk in about 2 cups of reserved shrimp stock and return to low heat.

Peel the shrimp if necessary, then chop 1/2 the shrimp, adding the other 1/2 (whole shrimp) to the bisque. Remove and reserve bay leaves and blend the soup in batches until texture is as desired (bisque consistency). Blender stick is the way to go, but if necessary you can do batches in the blender.

Return to heat, add cream and remaining shrimp, return bay leaves and adjust seasoning. BE VERY careful not to let simmer or boil. If the consistency is too thick, add more cream or shrimp stock. Remove bay leaves right before serving.

Try it, you'll like it!

Into the Trees.

2009-11-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

The trees are all but bare now; but wow, what a gorgeously phenomenal, exceptionally amazing, spectacularly fantastic fall we've had. Even after the leaves...well, leave, I love the trees in the Ozarks.

I feel neked without trees. I know what I said.

But that's a whole other can of worms, ya'll.

Hi Sophie-Jo. Best dog ever.

Mushrooms. I have a theory our small acreage is situated on the world's second largest organism - another fungi. They're bleedin'everywhere. We enjoy watching them come and go. Fairy magic, Greybee thinks.

I must concur. Her logic is infallible.

Hi Greybee Baby. Best baby ever.

Don't touch the mushrooms.

Hope all you Ozarkers enjoyed the leaves; hope all you transplanted Ozarkers enjoyed the photos.

EATS! Ham steak breakfast. Yummmm.

2009-10-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ready? Okay.

Fried ham steaks w/red eye gravy, butter grits, onion roasted potatoes, and buttermilk biscuits. Amen.

If you have a Southern bone in your body, anywhere, this will make your soul sing...

I couldn't decide on the angle, so I gave you both photos.

I love food, can you tell?

Can you see the BUTTER melting on the grits? Its...its...its divine.

Let's get cooking.

Ham Steaks & Red Eye Gravy
2 large ham steaks, thick cut
½ medium onion, finely diced
1/4 cup flour, heaping
5 tablespoons butter
2 cups beef stock
2 cups coffee
2 teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons heavy cream
2 tablespoons green onions, chopped

In a large, hot cast-iron skillet add 2 T bacon grease. It should be starting to smoke, add ham and fry until nicely browned about 2-3 minutes, turning once. When fried, remove ham to a warm plate, tent with foil to keep warm.

Add onions. When they've started to brown, toss in the butter and when melted, whisk in the flour. Whisk mixture until flour is toasty and just starting to brown (important for correct flavor). Whisk in coffee, stock, and sugar. Let reduce until desired consistency, about 15 minutes. Add salt and pepper and adjust to taste. This gravy is thinner than bacon or sausage gravy - more the consistency of a brown gravy.

Five minutes before serving, return ham, drizzle cream, and sprinkle with green onions. I serve the ham just like this, with a healthy sprinkle of black pepper, or you can whisk to combine (just not as pretty). Serve ladled over grits and fried potatoes.

Lordy.

When we're really going all-out, I make these bad boys:

Buttermilk "Angel" Biscuits
5 cups all-purpose flour, can sub 2 c with cake flour for extra tenderness
¼ cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 ½ teaspoons salt
1 cup shortening, chilled
1 package active dry yeast
¼ cup warm water
2 cups buttermilk
4 tablespoons butter, melted

Dissolve yeast in warm water. Pour some flour for sprinkling and flouring the biscuit cutter in a small bowl.

Sift together flour, sugar, soda, baking powder, and salt. Cut in chiled shortening. VERY GENTLY add warm buttermilk and dissolved yeast. Store dough, covered, in the fridge until ready to use.

Gently roll out on a lightly floured surface or shape into balls--these do not need to rise. I use a HUGE biscuit cutter to make "cat's head" biscuits - a real treat, but mostly just use a large biscuit cutter (don't twist and use a sharp cutter for the best rise). Place on ungreased cookie sheet w/sides touching. Brush tops of biscuits with melted butter.

Bake at 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) for 15 minutes. Quickly brush with melted butter. Bake for 5-15 minutes more depending on size and appearance. Brush again with melted butter before serving. YUM.

Those are called "angel" or "bride's" biscuits because of the yeast-mixture addition. You can take those to the bank - they always turn out. I also love the added flavor and little extra oomph to the rise this gives them. They're so yummy.

But mostly - I make Pioneer baking mix biscuits - 3 cups Pioneer + 1 cup milk = instant fabulosity. I don't know anyone that would know they weren't from scratch. Just please. Please avoid Bisquick. Whoever is in that factory dumping in the baking soda needs a swift kick in the ass. Just. Yuck.

Und now for the potatoes. My FAVORITE. There's real magic in the combination of onion-roasted potatoes and red eye gravy. I don't claim to understand it; I just enjoy it.

Oven at 425 (I usually fudge it a little so I can do the biscuits and the potatoes together - just put the potatoes on the bottom rack, making sure there is plenty of space between the two cooking racks).

Onion Roasted Potatoes, Simple
2 pounds baby red potatoes, quartered
⅓ cup vegetable oil
1 package Lipton onion soup mix
black pepper, to taste

Toss ingredients together, roast in 425 degree oven about 30-35 minutes, turning once.

I try to make sure the cut sides are down and there is plenty of seasoning on the bottom - crunchy and flavorful!

Also: if you're allergic or just opposed to MSG; or if you're just like me and sometimes run out of it - here's an easy alternative to Lipton's Onion Soup Mix:

8 teaspoons instant minced onion
1 teaspoon onion powder
4 teaspoons beef bouillon
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1/4 teaspoon sugar

I usually double this and give it one quick zing in the food processor to make it more powdery like Lipton's. If I'm feelin' frisky.

Frisky. Ha. Love that word.

And now for the ultimate Southern comfort food: butter grits. Please, if you're a Yank and you've never had anything but that mushy monstrosity called "instant grits", please DO YOURSELF A FAVOR and try these. Outside of the South, you may have to order them. Bob's Red Mill makes a good grind. The label reads, "polenta", as well. See note below.

Grits are a wondrous thing, but these are what they ARE NOT:

They are not instant. They take 30 minutes to cook.

They are not cornmeal.

They are not hominy.

They are not really polenta. But they are very similar. Very similar. (I find most polenta is a finer grind)

They are not bland.

They are not sweetened. (though a drizzle of good SORGHUM molasses is very acceptable)

After that admonishment, we may now move forward and enjoy some good grits together:

Butter Grits
4 ½ cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup grits, yellow
4 tablespoons butter (I don't skimp, peeps)
Bring SALTED water to a rapid boil. Slowly shake in grits with one hand while whisking vigorously with the other. Continue whisking and lower to the heat to where just the occasional bubble breaks the surface. Cook for 30 minutes or so (different stoves), stirring and scraping the bottom occasionally to prevent scorching. Drop in the butter just before serving.
Adding some really good cheddar is perfectly acceptable, just not traditional for breakfast.

Notes:

NOTES : For fried grits, spread leftovers in a pan to about 1 1/2" thickness. Bake in a 250 oven for 30-45 minutes until slightly dry. Let cool for 45 minutes before refrigerating or slicing into 4 inch squares and panfrying in hot grease until golden on each side, 12 minutes total or so. Polenta is often served this way as well.

I'll make some Shrimp n' Grits sometime for ya'll. Make you wanna slap yo' Momma.

Now.

Pile your plate as high as you dare; have your cardiologist and your personal trainer on speed dial, and go ahead and DIG IN. Larrapin' good, I say. Larrapin'.

Welcome to South of the Mason Dixon.

At least for a couple plate-fulls.

Grits-Lover’s Prayer

From Martha White’s Southern Sampler

Our Father, watchin’ my kitchen,

Please help me understand

Why some folks just don’t take to grits

Like I know you planned.

Perhaps it’s ’cause they missed out—

Through no fault of their own,

Their mamas served ’em oatmeal

’Til they were nearly grown.

For that I cannot blame them

And since it’s not too late,

I pray some good soul finds them

And puts grits upon their plate.

I’m sure there are grits in heaven

And angels are eatin’ right.

But there are no grits below us

’Cept those burned black as night.

It's time.

2009-10-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

This is it.

This is the be-all, end-all for me. A thick fall mist with the leaves changing before my eyes, the light soft and filtered and mist sparkling the air, the soft wind has a brisk chill, the storm and rains on their way, the little family together, the heater scenting the air with its first couple uses of the season. I'm searching for something warm and homey for dinner, there's good news of a new baby in the family, we're getting prepared to go visit my Dad, and for just a moment - for one quiet blissful moment - this is it. All is good. So so good.

Thank you.

Dark...

2009-10-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Please meet Jack.

Aka. Jack Skellington.

My daughter has been drawing Jack for almost 2 years now. I guess you could call her "dark", for an adorable, four-year-old girl. "Nightmare", as we familiarly refer to it after these last couple years, is Tim Burton's, "Nightmare Before Christmas". And Jack is her beleauguered, classic-protagonist hero in a story that, somehow, successfully combines Christmas AND Halloween.

Yes, we're brimming with LPS' (if you don't know, count yourself and your intact bare feet lucky), Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcakes, the requisite army of naked baby dolls, etc.

But Jack is. just. IT.

We rejoice at Halloween, because it is a celebration of all she waits for. Goblins, witches, pumpkins, bats, ghosts, and yes, monsters are welcome everywhere. Dinos are even put in that wonderful category she just can't quite share with her little girl friends. But Halloween is her time. Her favorite characters are the stars of TV, movies, the internet, the RADIO, even. Its their time; its her time.

The child is just, well, dark.

And I love her for it.

2009-10-01T17:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie. I stole this photo.

I just stole it. I love it and it makes my heart sing and while I usually recreate a great photo, I have resolved to make this October my most-posts-to-date month yet; this means my camera and I may not be able to keep up.

I believe in my heart this is the right thing to do since its my favorite month, my favorite weather, my birthday is smack in the middle, and by golly, because I can.

What are they gonna do?

Take my birthday away? (miss ya' Kev)

So there.

Fizzled Festivals...

2009-09-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

HOOTIN' AND HOLLERIN' '09! WOOOOOHOOOO.

(Saturday-day, anyway.)

Lick Creek Bridge, J Hwy, 9/19/09

reproduced with express consent under the first-cousin has rights to all photos clause

thanks, Alica!

I had meant this post to be full of sunny photos of funnel cakes, pictures of kids on bouncy rides, wooden toys, old-time costumes, bluegrass bands, and family folks; however, nature did not cooperate.

Friday was great - we got to see everyone, the weather was perfect; and me in my infinite wisdom decided to save the camera-lugging for Saturday. Better lighting, I told myself. Don't ever take me to Vegas, man. It's something. One could almost call it a gift. If one were trying to be very, very facetious.

This shot is a picture looking out across the lawn of Alic & Chris' house (aka "The Mome Home"). This post, as some will inevitably be, is for those in the know of Ozark Co., J Hwy, & Lick Creek Bridge. For the unfamiliar, let me just say - this is unbelievable amounts of water...

And thanks Alic for letting me steal these!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the road. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and we were headed home.

It was dark.

And stormy.

And this was as close as I got you to Hootin' and Hollerin' this year.

But I TOLD you I'd get photos!

Hee.

EATS! Baked Beans. As promised! Classic & pretty darn good.

2009-09-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of really really good baked beans recipes out there. I call this my "best" because they're simple. They're classic. Nothing untoward getting between you and your beans. This is a great tweaking recipe, just make 'em how ya'll like 'em!

Another recipe I'll have to post some time is my Aunt Jack's Meaty Baked Beans - crowd pleaser for sure!

Meanwhile, give this one a try.

Classic Baked Beans

2 cans pork and beans, or sub 1 can kidney
1 onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 teaspoons mustard
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
6 slices bacon
½ cup brown sugar
dash salt, go very easy
pinch black pepper, to taste
dash hot sauce
1 teaspoon liquid Barbecue Smoke

FOR AWESOME MAPLE BAKED BEANS SUB REAL MAPLE SYRUP FOR SUGAR
Fry bacon lighlty, fry 2 pieces well; saute onions and bell pepper in bacon drippings. Mix beans with mustard, brown sugar, ketchup, and Worcestershire sauce and seasonings in baking dish. Add onion and bell pepper, and 2 slices crumbled/chopped bacon. Place remaining bacon on top. Bake at 350* for 45 minutes.

Also can bake over medium indirect heat while grilling other foods (we rarely have enough room on our grill, though). Make sure you keep the grill lid on as much as possible.

NOTE: I usually make these without any veggies, for some reason the guys around me are picky. I sub 1 t dried onion flakes or even onion powder because sometimes even the flakes don't fly with some characters! You can use dried pepper flakes, diced chili peppers, pimentos, or just omit the pepper entirely.

Man, this is turning into a food blog fast. I need to get out of the kitchen.

Might not hurt my thighs, either.

But, hey! Enjoy the Eats!

EATS! or DRINKS! "Sun Tea". Or, "Summer in a Mason Jar, Part I"

2009-09-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

Aaaaahhhh.

All the hype about Sun Tea has really got me riled. I mean, who didn't grow up drinking sun tea? I've NEVER heard of someone getting sick from sun tea. Who are these chumps? And really, does someone have to tell you not to drink tea that is, and I quote here, "...thick and syrupy. Those ropy strands are bacteria."

I mean, eeeeyewwwwwww.

So for all you lily-livered, yella-bellied, nancy prom queens out there, here's a warning and some really insane precautions you can take, if you must:

http://www.snopes.com/food/prepare/suntea.asp

For those of us that usually keep our containers clean using hot, soapy water, and honestly, think that cleaning something with bleach is a bit much, this is what ya' do:

Get a large, 1 gallon container. A clean container. One made of clear glass. I'm very fond of this one:

Then grab 5 family size bags of tea, we're fond of this kind:

Now, fill the jar with cold, fresh water. Set the jar in blazing, brilliant sun for about 5 hours (or until your desired strength). Then remove bags and refrigerate immediately. The one caution I know is that sun tea, or any tea for that matter, should not sit out for any length of time after brewing.

And enjoy!

Cheap EATS!!! Red Beans & Rice. Dang.

2009-09-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

This recipe could only be described as one of our country's oldest go-to recipes. Actually this is a Creole dish, not Cajun (as has become the more common term for southern Louisianan cooking in other parts of the country). The wealthy planters who fled the slave uprisings in the Caribbean and settled in New Orleans brought this dish with them, and the people there just tweaked it to perfection, das right.

Served on the traditional laundering day of the South, Mondays, it often included the leftover meats, ham specifically, that had been served during the Sunday feast. Sausage has become the most common addition I've seen in LA, sometimes served on the side but mostly included to flavor the beans.

We always sprinkle some file ("fee'-lay", pardon the lack of accent mark) powder, the green powder you can barely see above, on the rice for flavor and a little texture. These are just ground sassafras leaves, believe it or not, and introduced to the Cajuns by their Native American brethren. The file is a Cajun addition, and not strictly true to the Creole dish; but hey, if somebody hadn't tweaked the original red beans & rice, we wouldn't have this beauty recipe, now would we?

Below the recipe I've made some notations on how to cheapen the dish further. This recipe is actually the "deluxe" version, but still comparably thrifty.

Red Beans & Rice

1 pound red beans, or 2 cups, dried

14 cups water, divided

2 bay leaves

1/2 t oregano

1/2 t basil

1 T paprika

3 t chicken bouillon granules

dash red pepper, to taste

dash white pepper, to taste

dash black pepper, to taste

salt, to taste (at the end only)

1/2 c chopped bell pepper

1/2 c chopped celery

1 c chopped white onion

pinch salt

1/4 c bacon grease

1 pound smoked sausage, sliced 1 inch thick, on the diagonal

1/2 cup dry white wine or sherry, optional

For serving:

Cajun Boiled Rice (click to go to link)

Lousiana hot sauce (or Tabasco, Boone says)

file powder, optional

sourdough French bread, not optional

room temperature (or whipped) butter

1. You can soak the beans overnight, or do what I do: sort the beans for broken pieces, or little stones and things. Rinse well in a colander. Place in a pot with 8 cups COLD water. Bring to a full, rolling boil and boil 2 minutes. Cover the pot, remove from heat, and "quick soak" for 1 hour.

2. Drain, and rinse the beans lightly. Cover with 6 cups of HOT tap water, and place on medium/low, and simmer uncovered. Add herbs and seasonings. Cook, stirring occasionally, for about 1 1/2-3 hours (depending on how you like your beans). Red beans are usually kept fairly firm, with just a little "gravy" being produced by the beans.

3. Meanwhile, just after the beans start simmering, saute the chopped veggies slowly (these are known as "the trinity" in LA cuisine) in the bacon grease until very, very soft and just starting to brown, sprinkling with a little salt while cooking. Remove with slotted spoon and add directly to beans. Raise the skillet heat, add sausages till they just start to sizzle and brown (overcooking causes them to be tough). Remove with slotted spoon and reserve on plate, covered. Drain the grease from the skillet into the beans.

4. If you have 1/2 a cup of wine, or a little sherry or something, toss that in the hot pan and scrub the bottom with a spoon to deglaze, pour that directly in the beans as well.

5. Add the sausages about 45 minutes before serving, adjust seasonings and thickness to taste.

Okay, that concludes the full, fancy "deluxe version".

Here's the CHEAPEST EATS!!! version.

Soak 2 cups

in 8 cups cold

overnight.

Drain, cover with 6 cups cold

Bring to boil, reduce to simmer.

Add:

[bacon grease. hyello.]

and some

to taste.

Really, you need some, okay, lots of

but I understand if ya' just. don't. have it.

Serve over, alongside and/or under:

Click on "Cajun Boiled Rice" for a great recipe. Or just scroll down.

Ta-Dahhhhhhh!

CHEAPEST EATS!!!

EATS!, CHEAP EATS!!! Cajun Boiled Rice. Trust me.

2009-09-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

or...Cajun Bwahyled Rice. Actually.

This is a recipe I saw Justin Wilson make on like, PBS, or something YEARS ago. I haven't had even a wisp of a desire to measure out the ingredients. I'm superstitious like that. But I've NEVER had this recipe not turn out. I garontee.

And I still have a crush on Justin Wilson. I garontee.

Cajun Boiled Rice

long grain white rice

water

2 t salt

Place as much rice as you need in a heavy pan. Cover with water until, when your fingertip just touches the top of the rice, the water is middle-joint of the middle finger-deep above the rice. I friggin' love this guy!

Add salt to taste, about 2 teaspoons. Place over hottest flame, bring to a rapid boil, UNCOVERED. Boil in this fashion until you can't see water bubbling in the holes that will appear in the surface. It looks like it will boil over, it won't, or maybe just a tiny bit. Trust the man.

Then, turn heat to simmer, and with LID ON simmer for 20 to 30 minutes. Do NOT peek until you're ready to serve. Set aside to rest 5 minutes, then fork to fluff lightly (this rice WILL mush easily) and serve.

I garontee.

No.

No, I won't ever stop saying that.

Enticing Economical CHEAP EATS!!! A new cOzyOzarks feature?

2009-09-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today how much budget cooking I've been doing lately. Our family used to so easily fall into the routine of, What sounds really good? What's the fastest? What's the easiest? What do you want on your pizza, yeah, and an order of breadsticks, okay.

Well, dire straits (single income nowadays) have demanded I try to pick up a little slack in the outgoing funds department. I started with some internet research, and whilst carefully picking my way through some really scary nuclear survivalist sites peppered with some even scarier fundamentalist religion sites (although both groups did have some pretty good recipes), I finally have amassed a couple weeks worth of pretty decent eats.

One really rough week, we (big-eating family of three) literally had a total weekly bill of $45. For us, that's good. Three meals a day, not counting spices and maybe a couple staples we had, milk, eggs, bacon, bread, etc. Not saying that week was GOOD EATS! but they was CHEAP EATS!

But, seriously, what we have found is that just a few of these budget-friendly standbys shuffled into your recipe cards, and you've got a little extra dough now and again. I couldn't think of a less-painful way to save money: cheap AND good? Okay. Hit me.

So, tomorrow I'll be posting our first "Cheap EATS!!!", a good ole Cajun standby, Red Beans & Rice. Man what those Cajuns can do with cheap food is mind-boggling. And we're grateful, very grateful.

EATS! Ribs. Va-va-va-Voom.

2009-09-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

Um hmm, and that's a "before" shot...

I just got chills.

These ribs are fast becoming Boone's speci-ayh-lity. They're perfect. No weird flavors, no fancy cooking technique. These are hickory smoked ribs on a charcoal grill. And they are so INCREDIBLE. People make moaning sounds and breathe through their noses so they can stuff their mouths with these ribs.

And when I say, "people", I swear I do not refer solely to myself. I swear.

Point of fact: I have never gotten any "after" shots of these ribs. All summer.

Number one, the shots at night never seem to come out quite right, they're shot inside and the artificial lighting gives a grainy, yellow cast that even Photoshop (in my novice hands) can't fix.

Number two, no one else (I've asked), is willing to break out the camera. And I'm all, outta my way, making a beeline to these puppies. Hence the action shots below. I think these were actually a second round on Boone's part. And me, I'd HAD to have a plate before I was willing to take these. Sorry, folks. One day I will. Another promise, these shots DO not do these ribs justice. Next time, in daylight (the only way the camera grain wouldn't overpower the shots), I'll fork them open, then take a shot.

The texture is outta this world.

To be quite honest, the ribs always cook differently. Different rack of ribs, different weather, different fire all add up to different cooking times. And just between you and me - the grill ain't the only thing that's lit, if ya' know what I mean. I don't blame the guy - what sane soul grills sober? But when someone's having to remind the cook to put down his microphone and go check the ribs and the fire temperature, well, you get my drift on different cooking times.

This recipe is a spinoff of Steve Raichlen's (our hero), but we found the salt overpowering in the original, and wanted more hickory flavor. Raichlen also uses an optional mop sauce that we found to be too much. We're simple folk. But, the mop sauce may make it for you, as well as the legend of the liquid of some sort in the drip pan for more moist cooking (didn't do much for ours, but you may think it makes all the difference) - I've heard of bourbon and apple juice, beer, dropping some liquid smoke (hickory flavoring) in just water, etc. Whatever floats yer boat and makes yer skirt fly up.

So while this recipe is a GREAT jumping off point, with a lot of things we wish we'd known when starting out, (note the peeling off of the skin on the underside of the ribs - HUGE difference) you just have to get out there and give it a try and get in your own rhythm, with your own grill, your own rack of ribs, your own rub, and your optimum level of revelry-while-grilling (from what I understand this is required). Another requirement that we don't consider optional (we did taste-tests) - you must marinate these in the rub OVERNIGHT. So be sure and plan ahead.

h a p p y e a t s !

before...

after!!!

Here's the rub. ha.

Boo's Hickory Ribs. Yum.
For the rub
4 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoon black pepper
2 tablespoon dark brown sugar
1-½ teaspoons salt
3 teaspoons celery salt
2 teaspoon garlic powder
2 teaspoon dry mustard
2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
4 cups hickory chips or chunks, soaked in cold water for at least an hour
and... last but not least:
2 racks baby back ribs (4 to 5 pounds)

Don't ask me what those weird blobs are above, or how to remove them, hope you can still see the amounts!

1. Wash the ribs and blot dry. Remove the thin papery skin on the back of each rack of ribs. (Pull it off in a sheet with your fingers, using a corner of a dish towel to gain a secure grip.)

2. Combine the ingredients for the rub (the paprika, black pepper, sugar, salt, celery salt, cayenne, garlic powder, mustard, and cumin) in mixing bowl and stir with your fingers to mix. Rub 2/3 of this mixture on the ribs on both sides. Transfer the ribs to a roasting pan and let marinate overnight.

3. Set up the grill for indirect grilling and preheat to medium (about 325 degrees). Place a drip pan in the center. If using a gas grill, place all the chips in the smoker box or smoker pouch and preheat the grill to high. When smoke appears, lower the heat to medium. If using a charcoal grill, toss half the wood chips on the coals.

4. Place the ribs on the grill over the drip pan and cover the grill. Cook the ribs until cooked, 1 hour. If using mop sauce of some kind, start basting with mop sauce after 30 minutes, basting every 20 minutes. If using a charcoal grill, replenish the coals after 1 hour, LOWERING THE TEMPERATURE TO 275 and adding a handful of chips as well. The ribs are done when the meat is very tender and it has shrunk back from the ends of the bones, ours take usually another 2-3 hours depending on the fire.

5. Transfer the ribs to a cutting board or platter. Mop one final time with mop sauce and sprinkle with the remaining rub. Let rest for 5 minutes and serve with your favorite barbecue sauce on the side.

NOTE: We have successfully held these ribs for serving wrapped tightly in foil in a 200 degree oven with a small pan of water to keep the environment moist.

And.

Coming soon...

The BESTEST EASIEST BAKED BEANS.

Yum.

A Bear. Where? Over There.

2009-09-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

Growing up in Arkansas, I remember working in my Grandma's garden late one afternoon, bent over a long row, sweating. Suddenly, a couple rows over, in an amazed, hushed voice, Grandma tells us kids to keep still and be quiet, and to look down at the tree line. A mere 30 yards away, down a small slope from the garden, lumbered a mama sow bear and her baby cubs. She walked right along the trees, then as we watched she stood, sniffed, looked our direction, dropped back down and moved her babies along.

I'm guessing I was 12 or 13 at the time, this was the first bear I'd seen in the Ozarks, alive and in the wild. It was special. I don't know why I didn't feel fear. We have black bears. After camping a week in the Smokies in my early twenties and attending the Ranger's slideshow on "Bear Aware", I know what they can do to a car, and a human.

This bear was photographed by a friend near his food plot last month in Texas county, Missouri, I think; he's set up a camera to shoot what deer are in the area for this season. We live in southern Missouri now, and this is a big sign that they're getting more and more common again.

But I'll just take this sign that the wild will hopefully never fully leave my cozy Ozarks.

Waterwoyks. Niagara Falls. A good cry.

2009-09-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

So, I'm watching The Last of the Mohicans last night and found myself sobbing, literally, at the part where they're hiding beneath the waterfall and Daniel Day-Lewis' character tells his love that she can't survive the jump over the falls, that when the Indians capture her she's to stay alive, she's strong, she just needs to stay alive, and no matter what, "I will find you." Ugghh. That slays me.

The end of that movie finds me gasping and sobbing and blubbering and the music, dangit, does NOT help. I cry during Quigley Down Under because of the music. And fuhget about Out of Africa. Just because of the music.

But maybe I'm a sick-o or something, but I always feel BETTER after a good movie-cry. Maybe its because that movie has nothing to do with my life, and the tears are cleansing, and then I can just turn off the DVD player. Suddenly, your problems seem so trivial and normal and fix-able. That's great. So, if you find yourself with a few hours to kill this rainy (around here) Labor Day weekend, and a great tearjerker is what ya' need, here are some of my doozies.

Of course.

I can't even watch this scene. Her expression, searching for him, then the shock of the execution. I close my eyes during this part of the movie, and cry just remembering it.

This movie is so underrated I think. The cast is great, the script is funny and sad, and for obvious I'm-in-love-with-a-pilot reasons this one really gets me.

I just noticed a lot of these musical scores are by John Williams. Huh.

None of these are in any particular order, its just how they just popped in my head.

Titanic & Beaches can share a spot. For obvious reasons.

I just noticed a lot of these movies star Tom Hanks. Huh.

And speaking of Brad Pitt, I've heard vicious rumors that Benjamin Button is evil, just evil, and must be destroyed. I haven't had the fortitude as yet. But the next time I need a time and heart killer, I'll rent it.

Promise, Kilei.

OhMuhGosh. A source of angst.

2009-09-02T11:38:00.001-07:00

We were pumped. Boone pressure washed, we waited days until the wood was thoroughly dry (very trying in 90% humidity), and prepped for stain, we got our brushes and rollers and pans and drop cloths and taped everything off and... and... well, I didn't even have the heart to photograph the horror before we stripped and power washed the atrocity from sight. I was too ashamed.

The Project:

The Inspiration:

The Nightmare:

So who knew that a color called, "Teak" in the can comes out "Burgundy Redwood Deck from the 80's" on the porch? We even did TWO test patches on the back deck (less noticeable - thought we were so smart), not knowing some crazy chemistry would occur between the equation of sun exposure, weathering of the lumber, lighting during the viewing time of day, and who knows what else. So, we've stripped - a NIGHTMARE of covering EVERY surface with plastic taped down during a VERY windy time of year (oh, yeah, try it some time. oodles of fun.) - and are preparing to clean, then sand with a large grit sandpaper, and then we'll go from there...

I wish I'd had audio of our taping the plastic up during what we thought was a light breeze. It was almost grounds for divorce. I think our three year-old was cursing. It was maddening and involved a tall ladder and yucky bugs and a grumpy husband.

Choose your stain wisely, young grasshopper...

Thank bejeezus we stopped at the top landing. Whew.

We'll be sure and post our pain, I mean our stain, as it occurs. Please. Enjoy.

Farewell to Summer.

2009-09-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

So for Labor Day weekend, which always signals the farewell to summer around these parts, I think we'll be posting an ode to our symbols of summer. If the weather participates, we'll swim in a creek, make a last batch of ice cream, boast a post of Boone's (my husband's) perfected hickory-smoked ribs, a batch of homemade lemonade, the perfect BLT, the perfect GBT... intriguing ... and how to make THE best gnocchi (read: fluffy delicious little potato dumplings) and homemade basil pesto, which as we all know, can be used on ANYTHING, and is the essence of the summer herb garden.

Hint: this has EVERYTHING to do with a GBT (mentioned above).

We grew our tomatoes in two pots on the patio this year. Smaller fruit, smaller harvest, but very convenient and we could place them in full sun. Next year, we'll try those upside-down jobbies. I resisted them this year because they're FUGLY, but they DO produce.

Topsy Turvy: Upside Down Tomato Planter

The basil, however, has ran us out of house & home.

I admit, by this time of year, my garden is weedy and buggy (the its-too-hot-outside bugs), and the plants that still produce hold a spot near and dear to my heart.

We're also going to be blogging (or attempting to) the huge headache refinishing our front porch has become. But how can you tuck summer in without wrapping up all your summer to-dos? Part and parcel with ice cream, man, part and parcel.

So forage into your farmers market for as long as you can in your latitude (pipe down, non-seasoners), and savor the last of the labors and fruits of summer.

Something Wicked...

2009-08-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

"Storms in the Distance, or South Dakota's Light Shows."

I've got just a few posts from South Dakota that I will thrust upon you Ozark-info-seekers here. But hey, it IS an Ozarker's travels, so - ya' got that goin' for ya'.

This last visit to my Dad's in SD was a humdinger, filled with family, food, travels, partying, sight-seeing, and mostly a lot of laughs.

Good family is so good to have.

One thing this Ozarker has really noticed about South Dakota is the storms. We think they roll in quickly in the Ozarks; but I'm beginning a theory that its the fact we can't SEE them. Unless you're keeping your eye on the radar, you are often surprised in the Ozark hills. The trees are tall, the hills are, well, hill-y, and weather has a tendency to build over the top of us (storms don't always roll in, they often "pop" up).

In SD, however, storms are all around you that never hit you. Makes for great little light shows in the distance on a gorgeous evening. For example, this little humdinger we witnessed before the rest of the fam showed up on this last trip. I heard something rolling in the distance. It had been such a clear evening and day. So, I grabbed my poor camera and...

...took off running. Obviously.

My "method" of photography here was to keep clicking. I only took 14 shots if that tells you how constant the lightning was. It was unbelievable. The sky seems so huge in SD, and the storms in the distance are even more, somehow, ominous than the ones right over the top of you. Please note the little raindrops on my little camera as I'm clicking...I'm clicking...

It looks like, why, yes. Yes, I think something wicked this way DOES come. Wait, huh? Its very exciting, anyway. This is as close as this one came. But I would like to shout out to all the South Dakotans out there. You guys sure can handle stiff winds and full grocery carts. And I'm talking on a daily basis. That's a little trick ya'll have to teach me. My 3 year old got blown across a Wal-Mart parking lot, and I think people just looked at me like, "What a terrible mother; and where are you from, anyway? Eh?"

Truly though, they're hospitable, warm, friendly, helpful pepole. And - you live in a beautiful, awe-inspiring state SDs. Party on, Sturgis!!! Thanks for letting us parade the kiddies through pre-party. We are like, total posers, and we all, like, all of us, like totally got shirts. And I think, like, totally we are all just letting our friends think we totally went to Sturgis. I know I am. Totally. (Hey - I didn't SAY I did, I just didn't say I didn't. Heh heh.)

Yours truly,

American Bad-Ass

Hints o' Haints

2009-08-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

This is completely out-of-season, totally inappropriate considering my last post was, not only a month ago exactly, but the Fourth of July. Truly, folks, this is completely in keeping with my thought process.

I am not a linear thinker. So on that note...

I am getting SO excited about fall being around the corner I really couldn't resist the temptation of posting these photos my man took a couple weeks ago.

Not to mention that being gone from "My Cozy Ozarks" really starts to dwindle your relevant blog fodder after awhile. Bummer.

Somebody's gotta cue the, "Carrie", music here. As in stop, click on the link, and then scroll down. If you cheat, you suck.

Volume low and creepy. Good. Good. Great.

Okay.

Ready?

Sure?

You should really open this in another window to enlarge. (Can't ruin our creepily ambient movie music, right? Take a good look, folks. This is a bright and sunny day. And this was taken three weeks ago.

eeeeks. this could BE the "Carrie" house...

Let's pray.

Nobody else seen "Carrie" lately? No one? Anyone?

*crickets chirping*

And, could I say, "Carrie", one more time? Cuz' its just SO much fun dealing with italics.

"Carrie"

This house is so scary. It seems mad. This is something straight from the Foxfire books, such as, "The haint were standin' up in the top winder, an' I could see her plain as day, holdin' that baby a' hern"...

So I haven't really read the Foxfire books, but I have flipped through the ghost, or "haint" [haunt], stories. CHILLING. I mean, let's chew on this for a sec. What the heck is scarier than plain, simple ghost stories told by hard-working, simple people that live in the dark, deep woods all the time - and those hard-working simple people are recalling the ONE time they saw something that scared the tar out of them. I mean, when they're scared, I am telling you,

I am OUTTA THERE.

The Foxfire books. Check them out some time. This is kind of what our set looks like...

We were holding out on posting this, because we have so many spooky, abandoned places around here, we wanted to do a series throughout October of some of these places. "Haints, boogers, and witches..." is how the Foxfire series describes them.

Boogers? Really? Did someone get something wrong in definition-land at some juncture; because I know I'm not the only one that in modern times that read that and thought..."scary boogers? yikes..."

And I think Foxfire 2 is the one I was flipping through. Though technically not an Ozark region reference, our people and those of the Appalachians run very parallel on many levels, especially back in the day. I've heard the most horrifying supernatural stories from the most plain-spoken, hard-working people; and you know why? They believe them with all their heart and soul. Doesn't matter if it was Lester's Great-Granpappy that lived down the road or who, but by-gosh-by-golly,

"...that's a true story, now."

Oh, and heads up. Severe lack of sound structure and a severe streak of yellow will probably limit the number of interior shots of these spookies; but the outside is good enough. For me.

So consider this a teaser for now. Oh, and didn't you love the music? Told ya' so.

The designer in me says, "fixer upper, gorgeous, just FABULOUS hints of southern combined with prairie architecture, complete with second-story screened sleeping porch, blah-blah-blah-buh-blah..."

The chicken in me just says,

"run, stupid, run".

oooOOOOoooh. Just cain't wait 'til...

Happy Fourth of July!

2009-07-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Fourth of July!!!

Sorry about the simple post, but such a busy day today! Shutting the computer down for the day (except recipe software) and spending with the family!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!